Short cuts

“I was talking to the lead about you last night.”
See, I’m not paranoid! “Really?”
“Yeah, how come you always wear black?”
“I don’t. Look, I’m wearing my blue stripy shirt today.”
“Yeah, well today you’re not. That’s why I’m saying.”
“Well, historically a country or empire at its perihelion, the zenith of its power, has as the prevailing fashion the colour black. Clothes, uniforms, it was all black. I guess by me wearing black a lot I am instinctively and subconsciously transmitting the idea that I am at the height of my power, my skills are finely honed and I am at the top of my profession.”
“I guess I wear dark clothes because it disguises the fact I’m flabby.”
“But you’re not fat!”
“The fact you think that only proves the point, really.”
“I’m a bit flabby.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”

~ ~ ~

“Did you finish San Anrdeas yet? Haha.”
“No, man. I haven’t had any time to play it recently. Have you got a light?”
“Here you go. Are you enjoying it though?”
“Oh yeah, it’s fun. A little difficult, but fun.”
“You should do some side missions to get extra weaponry. You should spend some time doing the graffiti tags.”
“Graffiti tags?”
“Yeah, you must have seen them. They cropped up in one of the early missions.”
“Well, I’ve been mostly working on getting money.”
“Ah, you should go to the betting shop.”
“Betting shop?”
“Yeah, near the gun shop. You can buy a house nearby and…”
“Buy a house?”
“Yeah, just north of your starting position. It’s in one of the rival gangs’ territories.”
“Rival gangs?”
“Or you could do some taxi missions, or vigilante or something but there’s not much money in that.”
“What missions?”
“Um…how far did you get, actually?”
“I opened that second island.”
“The one with the huge mountain?”
“Yeah, there’s a huge mountain there. Didn’t you see it?
“Let me send you the link to gameFAQs.”
“What’s that?”

~ ~ ~

“Wotcha, chuck. What you up to?”
“Just checking some of the menu graphics.”
“I’m bored shirtless, mind if I look over your shoulder?”
“Be my guest.”
“Hm… why the English? That there doesn’t make sense. That should be this. And that should at the very least be plural, and at the end there, not the front. And why is that in English there but in kana there? Who wrote this stuff? The planner?”
“The planner.”
“The planner… It’s a shame there isn’t someone who speaks English here he could have checked it with first.”
“Hehe, quite.”
“Is this all textures? That’s going to be Hell to localise.”
“Yeah, good luck with that!”
“What the? No way, man. I don’t speak English!”
“Hehe, you cheeky sod.””
“Speaking of textures, that there is a little unclear. It’d probably be better over there and sticking out slightly.”
“You know what? Sod it. It’s perfect! I wouldn’t change a thing, if I were you!”


  1. “The planner… It’s a shame there isn’t someone who speaks English here he could have checked it with first.”

    Oh, the sweet irony.
    BTW, I could always come with a lexicon and supply you with cool German words ;D

  2. I enjoyed the San Andreas discussion, just because I can picture in my own mind the wonderful feeling of discovery that your coworker is about to have. It's a shame you can't wipe your own memory selectively, because I'd love to wipe the San Andreas part of mine so that I could rediscover the game again anew.

  3. Ah, to be able to unlearn games... So many I'd want to play again.

    (insert joke here about how we all suffer from collective game amnesia because we keep buying the same old crap and sequels over and over again)